I am not wearing green. I was planning on wearing green underwear, but due to VPL, I had to change. Sorry Irish people. Please don't pinch me, spank me instead.
PS--I'm Jewish. There are no Jews in Ireland (see Catholic v. Protestant terrorism in Ireland). Therefore, I'm exempt from wearing green on this day.
PPS--All of my green work apparel is at the dry cleaners. They were supposed to deliver my fresh clean clothes to my office last week. They didn't.
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