Monday, March 31, 2008

Another strange dream from the mind of Curlatini

I don't know what is up with these dreams I have, but they are just odd. Here's the latest installment. Actually this is not as strange at the military ship one........

Somehow a cat randomly shows up at my house. And she's really cute and fluffy and nice, but she has stitches on her leg from some type of surgery. And she somehow escapes from my house and when I find her some kids in my neighborhood are poking her with sticks. And she's really scared and trapped in a corner. And then I come to her rescue and keep her.

So, what do you think? Does that mean I should get a cat? Hmmmm.......

I think I'll wait to see how much my Mom's cats annoy me this week to make a decision on that one.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

And, they're off!

After talking about it nonstop for maybe the past month, my sister and her man are off to Costa Rica. I told her to drink only bottled water and to remember that even if she feels safe she's still in a foreign country. See I'm going to be a good Mom, I've already got the neurotic part down.

Being that I am house sitting for my parents this week, I also graciously agreed to house sit for sis. She called my 3 times on Saturday to quiz me on all of my house sitting duties, and to make sure I remembered the alarm code. With everything she's assigned me, it looks like I'm going to be there for hours. Great! I don't think its essential that I spend quality time with her cats. I think that if I feed them, that's quality time enough.

Ok, good. So, I'm already paring down my official duties at cat caretaker and house sitter. I better got a good present for all of my hard work!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Super busy all of a sudden

So, this morning I came into work thinking it would be a calm leisurely day. Just finish up a few things that I want to show to the boss on Monday, and that would be it.

Instead, I got a big assignment and have been frantically working on it all day, and filling up many tapes of dictation with important lawyer talk that is too voluminous to actually type myself, so I just say it on a tape recorder and someone types it up for me because I'm not great with typing fast. So, in order to let my secretary know we'd be busy today I told her that I had a long tape that needed to be typed up and I'd give it to her before lunch (because I definitely didn't want for her to wait to start until after lunch, and also because I was going out for a long lunch with all the associates). Ok, so at around 11 I gave her 1 tape to start typing up. But then when I was ready to give her another tape around 3:15, she was nowhere to be found. And then I was told she went to the hair salon downstairs to her hair done. I was none too pleased with that news. Especially because I already know that I will probably have to work this weekend to finish the DRAFT that she is now typing up in order to convert to to FINAL form. That means my shit needs to be typed up before the secretaries leave! So, I asked our very nice new secretary to help me and finish my second tape. She gladly agreed, which I am very appreciative of.

And in the midst of my super focused state, frantically swaking away and searching through hundreds of documents, some one's secretary calls me to talk about scheduling a mediation. And do you know why I got the call? Because MY secretary was getting her hair done. So, I told this person on the phone that I was very busy. I didn't have the time to talk to her right now and to fax me a letter saying whatever she wanted to say to me and I would address the letter on Monday. Of course I am super busy on Monday too, with 2 hearings in the morning, a witness and exhibit list due by the end of the day, and I have to finish the big assignment. So, in reality I will probably not get to the letter until Tuesday, if she even sends it.

So basically, since I was really busy, and I LOVE it when I'm busy at work, I was a real bitch to everyone else that was bothering me today, except for the people I work with. Honestly, this is the part of the job that I love:) Go me.

PS--I'm still leaving when everyone else does to go to happy hour. I deserve it!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

TGIAF

Thank God it's ALMOST Friday! Or maybe, thank goodness it's Thursday, but I'm kind of excited for Friday.

One of my friends at the firm is leaving to start her own practice. Tomorrow is her last day. I'm so excited for her to go off and do great things, but I'm a little sad because she and I just started becoming friendly about 2 months ago. And now she's leaving! We even went to lunch together today. She's a few years older than me and I don't really have any friends like that. You know, that are a little older, but super cool? She also has a 12 year old daughter, a husband of at least that many years, and she has great style. I hope I can be a cool Mom like her one day. I hope we keep in touch because she's a new friend that I'm not ready to say goodbye to.

Plus, her leaving the firm has given everyone here another excuse to go out for drinks together. I was told that I missed a lot of crazy behavior that last time I skipped firm happy hour. I don't want to make that mistake again!

PS--It's about time other people act silly when drinking. I am semi-retired from that profession.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A trip to the psychiatrist's office

That is what working at my office is like. More specifically, when dealing with the female partner I realize that she needs to take a trip there. But, she's probably too old to make any changes for the better at this point, so the people that have to work with her just have to deal with her insecurities and issues.

She has this childlike need to always be the center of attention. She will take ANY topic and turn the focus on herself. For instance, one of the girls in my office had a miscarriage last summer, which is a really awful thing. She had to tell the partners because she was going to be out of the office for a while. When she came back my female partner (I need to come up with a name for her. Let's just use FP until I think of something more fitting) goes into her office and says she thinks SHE (FP) might be pregnant (even though she's in her late 40s and has had a hysterectomy). She just needs everything to be about her. I can't stand it.

She also talks FOREVER. It is impossible to get out of a conversation with her. I told my secretary that if she ever notices I'm trapped in FP's office for more than 10 minutes to tell me I have a phone call so I can get out of FP's office, the boring conversation about HER, and back to other things that are more important.

I think the problem may be that she has no friends and she tries to make the associates in the office her friends. And I am not going down that road with her. So, because she thinks we're her friends she talks to us about all kinds of inappropriate things like: all of the procedures she's getting at the dermatologist's office (and believe me, there are not enough procedures in the world to right that wrong), that she wants breast implants, what alcoholic drinks she orders when she goes out with her perv husband, where to buy cheap clothing (why would I want to know that?), the male partner's past affairs, and his current marital state (apparently the wife doesn't give him sex anymore). She's also told people in the office that she and her husband are swingers. OMG if she acted her age maybe people in this office would have some respect for her.

And since she has neither friends nor self esteem, she overcompensates by attempting to make herself look important at work. She sent out an e-mail today telling everyone to turn their computers off when they leave for the day, even though she is usually the only one in the entire office that leaves her computer on overnight. And all week she has been on my ass about some stupid project that I can't bill for, asking me what the status is. I usually wait at least 24 hours before I respond because: A--I can't stand taking orders from incompetent people and B--my guy partner, the one whose firm this actually is doesn't even bother me about "the status "of certain assignments I've been given. He leaves me alone to do my work. And I get it done in a timely manner because he doesn't bother me about it and C--I've been told she acts this way with all of the new associates, trying to assert her authority over them.

So, since I've already decided that I pretty much don't care about making a career at this firm, I've also decided to not allow her to bully me with her requests for "status reports." So, yesterday she asked for a "status report" on an assignment that she gave me. I told her that after my secretary finished the revisions, I would start on the substantive work. I'm working on it right now and I'm realizing that her suggestions are ridiculous, unimportant, and a waste of time. Her writing is horrible and I feel like I should be revising her work NOT the other way around! Nevertheless I'm making these dumb revisions because it gives me something to do. And when I'm done with the revisions at the end of the day I'll probably hold on to the assignment until Friday. But since she made up some BS appointment (we share a secretary and I've confirmed with the sec that the appointment is BS) and she will be "out of the office" on Friday I guess she won't see it until Monday.

The fact that I am deliberately doing this is pathetic, isn't it. I just can't stand her. The other girls said they did the same thing. And, albeit pathetic, it's kind of fun too.

I don't think I can stay here until the end of the year.

I know that was a really long post, but if you got to the end of it, thanks for reading. I will try not to complain about work for the rest of the week. Ok?

So happy!

I am in a very good mood! You know why? Guess????

My grocery store started carrying honey roasted peanut butter (crunchy and smooth. I like crunchy.) again.

Yes, it's sometimes the small things that make me happy. Ok? (And please notice that I said sometimes. Big things make make happy too. And don't interpret the previous sentence in a dirty way, although I realize it may sound dirty.)

If you haven't tried it, you must. It's like butta, peanut butta.

That's all. Go buy honey roasted crunchy peanut butter and think of me.

You're welcome.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I think my computer is sick

OK, this morning's events really confirmed it. My computer is ill. For the past 2 weeks I have had to turn my computer on and off several times before I was actually able to use it, although I still got error messages saying windows had failed. I'm not sure what I did wrong. I've been doing my windows updates and all that stuff I should be doing to keep the computer healthy and virus free.

But since my computer is on a network at my office I'm wondering if it's possible for a virus to get in from another used and affect the entire system. This is why I'm wondering it: my guy boss looks at porn at work. No, really, he does. If it's dark outside and you go into the man's office, you can see the reflection of the computer screen on the window. And sometimes the reflection is of people with their clothes off. And hey, fine with me because it's his firm, he pays my salary, and he can do whatever he wants to do with his computer. But I think it may have done something to mine.

Here's why: this morning I wanted to see when FCAT testing was finished in the schools so that I could call my guardianship kids and check in with them. So, I did a google search and entered the following words: 2008 Broward County FCAT testing. I don't think anything in the search has a pornographic feel to it. Do you? Ok.

But instead of coming up with the Broward County School Board site, another site popped up and kept asking to install weird things. And I kept pressing the cancel button, but the prompt wouldn't go away. So, I tried to close the window and got a pop up screen of people getting it on. So, I closed the window immediately. But then it happened again. So, now our IT guy is here and I need to tell him about the problems with my computer. And he is going to think I'm a total perv. Fantastic.

Monday, March 24, 2008

It's just one of those days

A day that you want to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head. A day that you DEFINITELY don't want to be working, or even at work not working. BUT I had to come to work. I have a meeting this afternoon. A long boring meeting where people talk about insurance. I have no doubt I will say about 5 words in this whole meeting. I'll just have to sit there the whole time listening to people talk about insurance while I daydream about the 3,432,542 other things I'd rather be doing.

And while we're at it, can I just tell you how difficult it is to get motivated to do work when you really don't want to be at the office? I say this as it is 11 am and I haven't done a damn thing yet except visit my favorite websites like:

The Washington Post site--they do a feature called "Date Lab," where the Post staffers set people up on blind dates. If I still lived in DC and didn't have a bf that I was crazy about, I'd let them set me up. Anyway, it's a cute feature and you should start reading it if you don't already.

The New York Times--If you didn't already know, this is the best newspaper in the entire world. Don't argue with me, just accept it as fact and move on. On Mondays I like to ready the wedding section, you know, to torture myself to see if I know anyone that got married.

And then I like to visit every other site I can think of before I "really" get to work. Oh, and I'll usually go around the office and chat with everyone about their weekend.

Is it bad that I'm already thinking about what time I can leave? This is not good.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Concert review

Although it started WAY late, Jay Z put on a great show! I had a GREAT time and I'm not sure if that was due to the music or being wrapped up in the bf's arms for the entire time. I think it was more the latter :) I adore him.

Something happened with "us" this week. I can't really tell exactly what "it" was, but I really feel like something fell into place this week. I feel really good about it, and excited, and anxious, and happy.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

This guy needed to go on a TV show to meet a woman?????





Back from his tour in Iraq, "Bachelor" stud Lt. Andy Baldwin shocked and awed motorists in Hawaii on Wednesday -- by filling up his tank shirtless.It should be illegal to flash your guns like this!


Friday, March 21, 2008

I feel insignificant

So, besides feeling insignificant at work, knowing there is no room for advancement here, and that I will never be given any substantve work to do at my firm, I finally realize that I am being treated as nothing more than an over qualified paralegal. And now, my female boss also thinks I'm her secretary.

I gave her a draft of a memo of law to review. She sent it back to me with tons of handwritten useless, redundant revisions. I gave it to my secretary to take care of the revisions. I am not going to be her bitch. Fuck that. Plus, I'm going to see Jay Z tonight and I'm too excited to do any work. And being that it is a Friday, I don't want to work anyway. And I think that the office is going to close early because its Good Friday. So, since I'm "half" Catholic, my Catholic half will want to leave early to thank Jesus for something, or just go to happy hour. So while I'm at happy hour I will thank Jesus for letting me leave work early:)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

TGIF

Ok, I know it's not Friday yet, but I'm very excited for tomorrow. Guess who's going to the very last dress rehearsal performance of Jay-Z before his tour starts on Saturday night in the Magic City? Yours truly (and my bf). That's right, I'm a gangsta.

Jay is playing at a very small theater on the Beach and I'm sure it will be a great show. I got REALLY good tickets. It only cost me a few hundred dollars small fortune. Tomorrow night might even be better than the last time I saw him back in 2005 when the rest of these people showed up at the show too: Mary J Blige, Puffy, Busta, Trick Daddy, Lil Jon, and Trina.

So, I'm thinking tomorrow night will be more of the same.

Oh yes, and I get to leave work early tomorrow, because its Good Friday, and on account of me having to go to the gym so I can look that much better in the cute outfit I will decide on tonight church and all, because I'm a bad Jew that never goes to Temple good catholic.

What is the significance of Good Friday anyway? These Catholics have me all confused.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Filed under: morons that are permitted to keep their children

What is wrong with people? I can't believe things like this happen. BTW, they have 4 other kids.
________________________________________________________________

Charges Issued In Charred Baby Remains Case
Charred Child Remains Found In Basement Ceiling
POSTED: 11:34 am EDT March 19, 2008
UPDATED: 2:08 pm EDT March 19, 2008

DETROIT -- A couple was charged in the death of a 2-year-old boy after his charred remains were found hidden in the basement ceiling.
Police said the parents burned the child's dead body on the home barbecue grill to cover up his death.

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy charged Joseph Miller, III, 28 and Nickello L. Reid, 23 both of Detroit.

On Nov. 22, Detroit police were called to a home located in the 15000 block of Lapin, where they discovered the burned remains in a plastic bag hidden in the basement ceiling.
Worthy said the couple tried to burn the child in the grill to conceal his death.
The Wayne County Medical Examiner said the cause of death was inconclusive. However, the child suffered from malnutrition, disease and abuse.
Joseph Miller, III and Nickello Reid have been charged with: felony murder, which carries a maximum penalty of life in prison without parole; involuntary manslaughter, which carries a maximum penalty of 15 years in prison; child abuse first- degree, which carries a maximum penalty of up to 15 years in prison; mutilation of a dead body, which carries a maximum penalty of up to 10 years in prison; and, welfare fraud over $500.00, which carries a maximum penalty of up to 4 years in prison.
Reid was charged with another count of welfare fraud over $500.00 and two counts of failure to inform, each of which carry a maximum penalty of up to 4 years in prison.
Worthy said Reid failed to inform authorities her child had died but continued to collect assistance money from the State of Michigan.
Reid's mother, Doretha Lippett, 51, of Detroit was charged with two counts of welfare fraud for her role in helping her daughter.
“It is very difficult to think of an innocent child suffering so profoundly during his two years on earth,” said Worthy.

New trend

Apparently cheating on your wife is the new rehab. Every one's doing it. Read below.



And this is to the wives that have been cheated on: For goodness sake stop standing beside the cheater at press conferences. It makes you, and pretty much all women for that matter, look like losers. And that's not an image that I like for myself.

If my man cheats, I won't even stand next to his hospital bed when he's recovering from the beating that I've inflicted on him. I know, I'm so sensitive.



_________________________________________________________________

Paterson Discusses Past Extramarital Affairs

Nathaniel Brooks for The New York Times
At a news conference in Albany, Gov. David A. Paterson discussed past marital infidelities with his wife, Michelle Paige Paterson, by his side.

By JEREMY W. PETERS
Published: March 18, 2008
ALBANY — Less than 24 hours after he was sworn in to replace a governor who left office in disgrace because of a prostitution scandal, Gov. David A. Paterson admitted that he had had relationships with women other than his wife, including one who is on the state payroll.
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Mr. Paterson made the disclosure at a news conference at the State Capitol, accompanied by his wife, Michelle, who Mr. Paterson said had also been unfaithful.
It was yet another surreal scene in Albany, a city still reeling from revelations last week that Gov. Eliot Spitzer had become ensnared in a federal investigation into a high-priced prostitution ring. That another governor could have questions raised about his sex life seemed agonizing to many here.
Mr. Paterson said he was speaking out because he did not want the state to become embroiled in another sordid distraction.
“I haven’t broken any laws,” Mr. Paterson said, flatly denying that he had ever used any campaign money in connection with the affairs. “I don’t think I’ve violated my oath of office. I would never use campaign funds for that purpose.”
Mr. Paterson said that he and his wife had sought counseling and had since resolved their marital problems. “Actually,” he said, “I think we have a marriage like many Americans, maybe even like many of you.”
Mr. Paterson did most of the talking during the news conference. But twice Mrs. Paterson spoke in a hushed, soft voice. “There’s no marriage that’s perfect,” she said at one point.
By midmorning, word of Mr. Paterson’s admissions had filtered through the Capitol. And once again, the state’s top political leaders found themselves fielding questions about how the state could weather the personal crisis of a governor.
Senator Joseph L. Bruno, the majority leader, said the Patersons’ marital problems were nobody’s business but their own as he brushed off suggestions that the affair threatened to interfere with the state’s business.
“His personal life is his personal life and he has to share what he’s comfortable sharing,” Mr. Bruno told reporters this morning. “And as long as it doesn’t interfere with how he’s governing, its nobody’s business. David is able to handle himself. He’s always been a good friend and handled himself properly, and I expect he will continue to handle himself properly.”
Sheldon Silver, the speaker of the State Assembly, said he admired Mr. Paterson’s courage in admitting the infidelity and suggested that the couple’s past problems, which he called “a nice story,” could serve as an inspiration to other couples who find their marriages imperiled.
“He basically said: ‘Here are the facts. It’s not an uncommon occurrence in people’s lives when marriages are failing, and this is how we worked it out,’ ” Mr. Silver said. “I think it should be a message to people who maybe find themselves in similar circumstances.”

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Lipstick Jungle observation

You know what I realized when I was watching Lipstick Jungle in my office just now on Thursday night?

Those girls drink a lot. One chick was just drinking in her closet.

Stop the madness!

Oh, and Nico's little hottie, his eyebrows are too big and too perfect. NBC take care of that for me, will ya?

Weird dreams

Occasionally I remember my dreams, and they are never run of the mill. They are strange and I wonder what my subconscious mind is trying to work out up there.

This is last nights: I was on a military ship, but there were no military activities going on there. I was like an artist colony, on a ship. And this new artist came on board that everyone was really excited about. And he was always talking to me. And then I fell asleep, and when I woke up, the guy had painted all over me! And then I got mad because he'd painted my nails and they looked like crap. And anyone that knows me knows I am obsessed with my appearance like to look nice and would totally expect me to react that way. Ok, so I'm still on the ship and I go to my friend (a person I've known since I was 5, but lost contact with after high school, and recently contacted me on Facebook) and I complain to her about this guy who painted on me. She tells me that he's a genius and an expert in his field, yada, yada, yada.

And then the ship starts going up the Miami River. And hits one side of the bank and then the other and is ricocheting from side to side, and it's really stormy out and raining, and I'm holding onto a ladder attached to the ship and a rope. And then I wake up.

I know. I'm a freak.

Ok, I looked some things up and this is what I came up with. See explanation below and my comments:


Military
To see the military in your dream, signifies rigid authority and emotional repression. Disciplinary action may be brought upon you. (that would not be good)

Ship
To see a ship in your dream, denotes that you are exploring aspects of your emotions and unconscious mind. The state and condition of the ship is indicative of your emotional state. If it is a cruise ship, then it suggests pleasant moods. If it is a warship, then you are experiencing feelings of aggression.

Storm
To see a storm in your dream, signifies overwhelming struggle, shock, devastating loss and catastrophe in your personal affairs. The storm also represents unexpressed fears or emotions, such as anger, rage, turmoil, etc. On a more positive note, the storm signifies the rising of spirit within. (Ok, this makes sense. I didn't seem to have any trouble holding on to the ship in the middle of the storm)

Friend
This symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news. (That's true. She said I looked great.) To see your childhood friend in your dream, signifies regression into your past where you had no responsibilities and things were much simpler and carefree. (What adult doesn't wish for that?) You may be wanting to escape the the pressures and stresses of adulthood. (Um, ya think?) Consider the relationship you had with this friend and the lessons that were learned. Alternatively, the childhood friend may be suggesting that you have been acting in a childish manner and you need to start acting like an adult. (What the hell? Just kidding. I'm pretty sure I've already recognized that and have started to act like an adult 75% of the time instead of 50% of the time. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

Monday, March 17, 2008

THIM?

Thank God it's Monday? Well, no not really, but for it being Monday I am in a fantastic mood! That may be attributed to the fact that I am leaving work at 3:30 so that I can meet with my accountant about my taxes. And although that sounds like no fun, and probably won't be, it still gets me out of here early

And I may be going out with the bf, which is exciting and last night when I was tossing and tuning and not falling back to sleep around 4:30am, I was thinking of tons of fun things to do, and I'm kind of excited about it.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

I am not wearing green. I was planning on wearing green underwear, but due to VPL, I had to change. Sorry Irish people. Please don't pinch me, spank me instead.

PS--I'm Jewish. There are no Jews in Ireland (see Catholic v. Protestant terrorism in Ireland). Therefore, I'm exempt from wearing green on this day.

PPS--All of my green work apparel is at the dry cleaners. They were supposed to deliver my fresh clean clothes to my office last week. They didn't.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Sunday in South Florida

It was hot. I ran outside and lost like 5 pounds in sweat, and while that might be gross to visualize, losing 5 pounds in 1 hour is pretty rewarding but it makes you really thirsty. Then I drank 2 pounds of water, which in the female body is translated as 6 pounds. So, I didn't really lose 5 pounds in 1 day, but maybe the exercise will have some type of effect over time.

I am a realist. I know you can't lose 5 pounds in 1 day. Unless you have a really bad stomach virus or food poisoning.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Aretha Franklin and Jabba the Hutt or even Ursula





It started off so well. She was young. She was pretty. She wasn't a fat pig. And then........












She discovered that she loved the taste of small humans dogs........and liked to wear bad wigs.





It's clear from the picture above that Aretha doesn't have a stylist, because if she did, she wouldn't be wearing Pam Anderson's hair extensions and a "sexy dress" in a size 63. I don't think she has any friends either because she's obviously still leaving the house when she really shouldn't be doing that in her "condition."




She never grew out of the "bad wig" phase. See picture to the right where she sports a Sally Beauty Supply $10 special. She also appears to be collecting acorns in her chin for the Winter.






















Get thee to a plastic surgeon and a gastric bypass specialist--Pronto!









And then she finally grew out of the "bad wig" phase, but entered the "how can I make myself look even more humongous?" phase.





Her answer is depicted in the picture to the left: Wear a turban, place many shiny rhinestones around 50 pound breasts, and have some phantom poufy thing come out of the bottom of the dress just for the hell of it. This just shows that she's a bad decision-maker. Because there is not one thing right about that outfit.



And, I think that instead of having a water fountain installed in her house someone made a mistake and installed a bacon grease fountain. From the looks of this picture she must be very thirsty.


And then I started to think about the similarities between Aretha and:





Or even.........



Remember the scene when Jabba was eating, just insert Aretha and I don't think it would be that much different. Kind of disgusting.

Friday, March 14, 2008

TGIF

It's 3:30p.m. on Friday+ It's our receptionist's birthday + Everyone is going to Blue Martini to forget how much they hate working celebrate her birthday= I only have to sit here for a little while longer can leave work when the 9 to 5ers leave because my boss knows everyone is going to Blue Martini. He already told us not to drink too much. Since I'm one of the attorneys I have to be responsible. I'm usually ALWAYS responsible.

But I am going to be super responsible today because I have big plans for Saturday: work out for several hours, pedicure, dinner with adorable BF and friends, show BF what it means to go to Brazil.

I went to Brazil yesterday. You know it's going to hurt when they tell you to take a deep breath and exhale when they pull the wax off. I drank 2 glasses of wine and forgot that my "danger zone" was attacked by a person that I paid good money to.


Brazil, it looks a lot like Miami


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Don't have sex with hookers

What is up with all this "having sex with hookers busienss." Apparently a former city attorney got caught doing the same thing and got disbarred. Holy crap.

__________________________________________________________________
Court suspends attorney Kutun's license
Posted on Thu, Mar. 13, 2008
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By EVAN S. BENN
ebenn@MiamiHerald.com
The Florida Bar on Thursday announced the state's Supreme Court has disciplined a former North Miami city attorney who pleaded guilty last year to charges related to having sex with a 16-year-old prostitute.
Barry Kutun, 66, will not be able to practice law until October 2009. Then, his law license will be reinstated but he will be on probation with the court for three more years.
Kutun -- a former state representative and candidate for Miami Beach mayor and Florida governor -- was arrested in 2006 for having consensual sex with an underage prostitute at his mid-Miami Beach condo. Kutun had maintained he thought the girl was an adult.
Kutun was fired from his $170,000-a-year job as North Miami city attorney after prosecutors filed charges in the case.
Kutun accepted an agreement with prosecutors last year in which he pleaded guilty to child abuse in exchange for house arrest and probation but no prison time. A judge withheld adjudication, which means Kutun is not a felon, but he was required to enter a sex-offender treatment program.
Kutun's attorney previously told The Miami Herald his client has no plans to run for public office again.
''His days of service to the community are over,'' attorney Richard Sharpstein said in September.

Cats

Humorous Pictures
Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Jim Cramer is not such a jerk all the time

Jim Cramer went to law school with Eliot Spitzer and his wife. Apparently, he is really good friends with them. He was on the Today Show this morning and cried about it. Maybe he's not so bad after all.

This is gross

Don't freeze pickle juice and sell it as a popsicle. It is disgusting.

If you think eating frozen pickle juice is appetizing, read this:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/03/11/ST2008031102564.html

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Project Runway 4

While Chris March lost me with his use of human hair, the 3 remaining contestants had me glued to the TV.

Rami--hot, yet gay. Sophisticated design.

Jillian--she's pretty and soft spoken, but wait! She's also from Long Island! I didn't know they had quiet people there. Her design is elegant and amazing.

Christian--Stole the show! From his weird hair to his flamboyant personality. This girl had me at "hello!" She's brilliant.

And now SNL has picked up on it. Watch below.

Monday, March 10, 2008

You know what?

I really didn't feel like working on Friday. So much so that I stayed in bed until 8:30 trying to decide whether I would call to say I'd be late or just not go in at all. I decided to just be late because if I skipped work then I would have to work on the weekend.

And you know what else? On Monday I don't feel any differently. Still don't want to work. This sucks.

Cry.

I might have to breakup with.......

The lady that does my hair. I've generally been happy with her work, and the fact that she's in my price range is great, but I just don't think it's working out anymore. After my latest haircut, my hair now looks flat and blah. And since its CURLY, that's kind of hard to do.

I found a new stylist. Allure magazine gave him a shout out recently for curly hair cuts. I'm going to try him out next time. He works at the Oribe salon. Fancy. Maybe I will see J Lo getting her hair done when I'm there.


In other news, happy anniversary to me!!!! This is my 100th post:)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Exciting idea

Dear all,

I have a dream that I hope will come to fruition by the end of the year. It was hastened by the fact that many of my friends from law school have recently opened their OWN law offices. And then one of the attorneys at my office just announced that she's leaving the firm to open her own practice.

I was talking to her and another attorney at my office about opening a solo practice and #1--it's not as expensive as I thought and #2--they weren't worried about finding clients.

***enter idea/dream: be my own boss, have a flexible schedule, not have the boss looking over my shoulder every day, make more money, try to live a happier life. I can't stop thinking about it actually. I'm going to try to make something happen by the end of the year. I'm so excited.

Pray that I'm successful.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

I don't think I would handle this scenario very well.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/03/05/identical.triplets.ap/index.html


Actually it's kind of a nightmare for me. This lady had problems getting pregnant, so she and her husband decided to do in vitro fertilization. And the fertilized egg split, and then it split again, and then she was pregnant with triplets.


Honestly, it's freak things like this that are bound to happen to me. By the time I finally get around to marrying someone and having kids I'll be, what, 47? And I'm sure all of my eggs will look like tiny raisins by then. And I'll be the one doing in vitro fertilization. And then these 3 kids will cost me so much money that I'll never have enough money for the plastic surgery necessary to repair my body from carrying 3 babies at once. And if I don't have kids until I'm 47 that means I'll still be working at 47? Wait, I think I just don't like the commute, not just work in general. In any even, OMG, that's another nightmare altogether.


Pray that this does NOT happen to me. Thank you.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I just realized something.......

And I know you guys are going to find it super interesting. If I eat lunch at 1:30 instead of 12 or 12:30, it breaks my day up just enough that I don't completely hate working. I just hate it a little. And that means that after lunch, I don't have as much time to kill before I get released from prison can leave my lovely office.


I know this post was a let down, but I'm participating in March NaBoPoMo, which means I have to post every day this month. So you have to put up will BS posts if that's what I decide to put up. K?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Yet another reason that dating is not so much fun...

Instead of being the usually forthright, well-spoken, independent, loud person that I usually am, I turn into a wimp. It's like I lose the ability to express myself verbally, when I usually don't shut up have the opposite problem. I attribute this to having dated for the past 16 years and having been rejected or ignored by men, although I've done a good deal of rejecting myself.

So, I might see the bf tonight, which is great. But it looks like I'll be totally ignored again until probably Sunday night so he can have a family bonding weekend, which is fine. But is it too much to ask for just a phone call to say "hi?" I don't really think so. I think it would make "us" better even. And it would make the now too-infrequent-for-me phone calls more enjoyable and less like an explanation from him as to why he hasn't called in a few days, and won't begin with #1--me wondering if I should even pick up the phone and just start "playing games" or #2--with me telling myself to stay calm, don't get mad, and be patient.

I am kind of feeling a little neglected and isolated in the "attention to me" department.

My secretary wants to go to lunch with me

Please don't think I'm a bitch for saying this, but I don't really want to go with her. Why? You ask. Several reasons: First, I wonder if she has something to tell me, or ask me that I might be uncomfortable talking about. Second, I wonder what we have to talk about. And third, we can be friendLY, but not friendS, I don't want her to get it confused. I have already learned that you can't be friends with your secretary, it just doesn't work. It becomes a huge time waster when they want to talk all them time and when you ask them to do something they don't take it seriously.

Maybe I should just go once, but def not today because I am not in a great mood. Fine, I'll go once.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

My thoughts on Rock of Love 2

This season is pretty much the same as last, but different sluts.

Instead of hating that ugly fire crotch, this year the girls all hate Kristy Joe, who, not surprisingly is the prettiest girl among the remaining hoes "contestants." Kristy Joe, if that's even her real name apparently has 1 ex-husband and another husband she's still married to. She also likes to wear A LOT of makeup. Her eyebrows are so dark they could be tattooed on even. I've also just discovered that she's modeled for Playboy and her breasts are real (not).


Then there's Daisy, who looks very similar to a cartoon. She too has real breasts (ha ha ha), and it also seems that she has a small tire implanted in her lips. I can't really tell if she's happy or sad because her lips don't move and she's unable to communicate emotion because of all the foreign substances she has in her body. Some of my preliminary research has revealed that she's Oscar de la Hoya's niece. I found this picture of her on the internets.



And it clearly indicates that the girl likes to party--Jack bottle in hand, lines of coke ready for consumption, and half-dressed. That really says it all. These girls are classy.
Um, ok, that's all I've got for now. I'm out.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Good Sunday



On Sunday of this weekend, in an effort to make up for my mediocre Saturday and lingering aggravation, I decided to go to the Dan Marino Wine and Food Festival with my sis, her friend, and the friend's bf. Sis came over early and she helped me get rid of the left over Super Bowl beer that had been in my fridge since, well, the Super Bowl of course! Then the friend and her bf show up and we all headed out under the impression that the Fest started at 2. Well it started at 3. So, to kill some time we decide to break in the new wine glasses we were given after paying our $55 entrance fee. We head to the closest wine shop (which was about 15 feet away) buy a bottle of wine and drink it. After that we shop until the Fest "officially" starts. Although for us it started hours before.

When the Fest finally beings we head off going from booth to booth sampling wine and eating yummy food (although not enough as I woke up starving on Monday). When the Fest finally winds down around 6:30 we feel very cultured having tried some great wines and we're a little toasted, but not falling down drunk (which would have led to a not-so-fun hangover and me being in a REALLY bad mood on Monday morning.). After sis leaves with a giant glass of water in hand, I kind of watch 60 Minutes until I pass out fall asleep on the couch. I don't know what time I woke up, but I decided to go upstairs and get into bed. That was at 9pm. And I slept until around 6 this morning when I woke up in a good mood and with a clear head.

And a good time was had by all!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I don't know what the man was thinking


So, this weekend I had plans with my bf. He called on Friday morning and asked if I'd like to go to the movies on Saturday. Of course I said yes. But because my curly locks needed some attention I couldn't get together until later on in the day. Ok, fine.

On Saturday he calls at 5 and says he'll be over in an hour. Great! When he shows up I am wearing a pair of my skinny jeans that I now fit into again as a result of either my recent illness, my no-fun diet, or a combination of both. So, I was in a pretty good mood, and excited to see him. Then he tells me he has a few ideas for our evening plans, and then informs me that he has a 9pm curfew. After mentioning the 9pm curfew I don't think I heard another word he said. It was only 6pm and he's telling me he needs to leave at 9. (I am actually going to write the words instead of just the letters to the following phrase because when I think about it still I become furious). WHAT THE FUCK????

This is what I wanted to tell him: I spent 1.5 hours getting ready to see you and you're going to give me a whole 3 hours????? Oh thank you very much! Well since you care so much about spending quality time together and not hurting my feelings, I want to show you how much I care too. I am so concerned about your 9pm curfew that I think you should leave RIGHT NOW so you won't be late. You can call me again when you've found your brain, apologize to me, and realize what an ass you are for making me feel like that.

This is what I really said: NOTHING. I don't remember what his first suggestion was for the evening because as I previously mentioned I had an out-of-body experience and lost my sense of hearing for a while. His second suggestion was to play a board game. My thought: I'm sorry, I just spent all this time to look good for you to stay inside and play a game????? I could have done that in my PJ's, and I'm not talking about the sexy ones.

So, I finally say "I thought we were going to the movies?" And he says, "oh yeah," that is what he wanted to do anyway. We finally left for the movies and I was NOT in the best of moods. He was trying to be cute and flirty and I was avoiding eye contact. And I really wish that I hadn't been in a bad mood because I was really looking forward to seeing him and would have loved to have taken advantage of his flirtations, but I was so hurt and angry.

Here's why: I can only really spend every other weekend with my bf because he has other commitments on the weekends in between, which I would not dream of interfering with, at least until I am invited to spend time with him and the commitments, which I hope will happen eventually. And I see him during the week once or twice which is fine. But I look forward to the weekends when we can spend real quality time together instead of rushing around and stressed out. So when he tells me that he only has 3 hours for me, it hurts my feelings because it makes me feel like he doesn't understand that being in this relationship and understanding his commitments is tough for me, and it makes me feel like he doesn't value our time together. Does that make sense?

Ok, so if you think that was the end of the story then just wait. The movie started at 7. So, movie starts and we're watching it. Around 8:45 the BF says that the movie is dragging and asks if I want to leave (you know, on account of the 9pm curfew and all, which I ignore and mention nothing of). And I say in an annoyed tone that if he wants to leave then I'll go. We stay until the end of the movie. As we're leaving he asks if I want to grab a bite to eat. We go get food and bring it back to my house. He finally leaves at 11pm after telling me all that he has to do on Sunday. I was in a better mood, but still aggravated.

And the whole time I didn't say a word.

Your thoughts? I have a right to be angry, right?
And as for the picture, that is how evolved my bf acted this weekend.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Looking forward to.....

I like weekends that:
1) I have nothing planned
2) I can sleep as late as I want
3) the neighbor's dog doesn't wake me up
4) I spend time with friends
5) I have time to cook
6) I have time to work out
7) I am away on vacation
8) I don't think about work
9) I fit into my skinny clothing
10) I don't drive my car at all