BCC

I purchased my first home about 2 years ago, and I happen to be a member of a home owner's association. The entire time I have lived in my home, we've only had 1 Association meeting. I decided, being a new member of the community, that I should attend the meeting. And that was the meeting at which I had the misfortune of being voted president of the Association!

Mind you, I don't think it was a proper election, and I could have contested it, but then I would have to listen to my whiny neighbors bitch and complain, and I was ready for the meeting to end.

And now that I have accepted the fact that I'm the pres. of the Association, it's not that bad. Except for that fact that my neighbors don't listen when I tell them to stop feeding the neighborhood's stray cats. The cats really don't create that many problems aside from the fact that they crap in my plants and flowers, and kill my landscaping, which causes me to go to Home Depot every weekend to repair the damage. And, I hate landscaping, so it makes it even worse.

So, I feel pretty confident that I know how to lead an organization, and keep people informed of what's going on, but something has started annoying me: other people that I have to deal with. So, since i don't want to deal with all of my neighbors at once I just have board meetings with 4 people. Here's the board: my next door neighbor who has a dog that I want to feed rat poison to. The neighbor doesn't walk her dog. She just lets him out on her patio to crap there. And the second he gets outside he doesn't stop barking. And she lets him outside sometimes at 6:45 on a Saturday or Sunday morning. She's about 65. She should know that her neighbors are sleeping. I thought about being a "good neighbor" and talking to her about it, but I got too pissed off and just started calling the cops. Bitch should know better than that, and I don't have the patience for it. I'm hoping that the dog escapes and never comes back.

The other board member is a guy who has no idea how to respond to e-mail and never has time to come to the meetings (although we've only has 1). And yesterday, when I was walking in the neighborhood, I heard this crazy screaming coming from his house. Now, I'm not sure if his wife was screaming at him, at the kids, or at someone else, but it kind of scared me a little bit.

The last member of the board is actually the least annoying, but frustrates me nevertheless. She asked me to write a letter to a neighbor who is 6 months behind in paying his monthly fees, and will likely not pay the recent special assessment I decided to levy of $500. So, being that I write about a million letters a week threatening other lawyers (and these are the kind of letters I LOVE to write and I'm getting very good at writing), I decided to write a threatening letter to this guy. And I BCCd all the board members so they would know that I get shit done. This member decides to reply to the BCC (to the board only, thank goodness) and give me a few suggestions. Um, thanks lady, but this is a BCC, not a conversation. I get paid to write threatening letters and the letter already went out. It's a BCC, not an open discussion. So, to my neighbors I say: shut your dogs up unless you want me to keep calling the police, stop feeding the cats that poop in my yard, investigate the purpose of a BCC, and stop being annoying in general. Oh, and please stop looking through my back window, because even if it's my fault for not purchasing any window coverings yet I still do not want to accidentally flash you when I'm running around the house not wearing anything. Thanks.