Good morning sunshine!

Hi All. Hope everyone had a good weekend. I did too, thanks for asking.

I was getting ready for work this morning around 8:30 when my lovely boss called to wish me a good morning.

"Where are you?" He asks.

"I'm just about to leave my house." I say.

"How far away from the courthouse are you?" He asks. I begin to wonder where this conversation will lead.

"It will take about 40 minutes for me to get there." I say.

He then says "A truck just hit my car [he just got into a car accident a few months ago that was a result of his bad driving.] I'll just have to call the Judge's JA and tell her and explain what happened."

I say "OK, bye." And don't ask how he's doing, what he wanted me to do at the courthouse, or anything else relating to him or the accident. You know, because I really could care less.

The first thing I think after hanging up the phone: I know my boss is a huge baby and will leave early from work because he's sooooo exhausted from getting up early and he will also want to take his car into the shop be cause he just CANNOT drive his car with a scratch on it. I then think, "YES! I can leave work early or at a normal hour because he won't be looking over my shoulder and threatening to fire me."

Then I think, "What the fuck did Cockface expect me to do at the courthouse?"

Idea #1: Me: "Good morning Judge, Cockface has a hearing scheduled for this morning, but he's a bad driver, got in a car accident, and he's going to be a little late." What is the point of that? You don't score extra points by treating your associate like a slave and having them personally announce that you will be late.

Idea #2: Me: "Good morning Judge's JA, Cockface has a hearing scheduled for this morning, but he's a bad driver, got in a car accident, and he's going to be a little late." See comment following Idea #1.

Idea #3: Just call the Judge's JA and explain the situation. This is something that our secretary should do. I have the following degrees: J.D., M.M.C., B.A. I am not a secretary and this is not something I should have to do. Oh wait, our secretary didn't come to work today because she's "sick."

In any event he did not ask me to do any of the above-referenced possibilities. However if he had I probably would have gotten yelled at for not getting to the courthouse fast enough or for not calling the JA fast enough. Although most lawyers know that the JAs never answer the phones because annoying attorneys are always calling to bother them, it still would have been my fault. And had I been asked to physically go to the courthouse and announce that Cockface was going to be late, I would not have been moving as fast as a result of my insane workouts this weekend that have left every muscle in my body sore.

And also. our annoying, negative, complaining, pessimist secretary called out sick this morning and that's the only reason why Cockface called me in the first place. Maybe I should add hypochondriac to the list of adjectives I used to describe my secretary, because I know she's not sick, she just wants attention.

Oh how I love being the back-up secretary/law slave of this office.

*Note to self--Dear Curlatini, if you are ever fortunate to get another job and leave this God-forsaken office, make sure the new job is a place that cares a little bit about it's employees instead of not at all, and make sure you're not treated like a slave. If you are ever lucky enough to find that, thank God every day and don't take it for granted because you will no longer be employed by Cockface, and for that you should be grateful.