The Pick Up Artist

In addition to Rock of Love, another new show recently launched by VH1 has also piqued my interest. This gem is called the Pick Up Artist. The general idea of this show is to take a bunch of socially inept losers who have never spoken to a woman and transform them into less socially inept losers who now think about speaking to women, but still don't because of the fear of rejection.

The teacher--is the gentleman in the picture above. His name is "Mystery." But I think his name should be "Are you fucking kidding me?" Seriously, look at these pictures! This guy teaches men how to pick up women! In one picture he looks like the Cat in the Hat and in the other he looks like a character from L. Ron Hubbard's book Dyanetics. What is the purpose of the goggles? Decoration? And to make matters worse, he wears eyeliner and has long hair. Now I have 2 hard and fast rules when it comes to men, if a guy wears makeup or has hair longer than mine, they have no shot. But if this guy approached me in a bar I honestly would not know whether to laugh or cry, but I definitely would not entertain conversation with this carton of a man.

Mystery does not appear as a solo act. He rolls with a crew of "professionals." One is named Matador and the other is J-Dog. Matador actually told the girl-fearing losers that he has been a "professional" PUA (pick up artist) for 3 years. Which makes me wonder.....I'm a professional too, I wonder where Matador got his degree. He may be a fellow alumnus of one of the institutions of higher learning that I attended. Or he might be a graduate of scumbag school

There is a parallel to this show and Rock of Love. You don't know whether you are watching to make fun of the losers who are trying to "win," or you are watching to see how pathetic the people are that the losers want to be like or with.

Ok, we all knew this question was going to come up sooner or later---are they virgins? And this subject is addressed within the first 10 minutes of the first episode. Of course this is done because the producers need to throw something out there for the audience to grasp onto and nothing works better than humiliating other people! These virgins are as young as 22 and as old as 45! Why are they still virgins? Haven't they stuck around a bar until closing time? There are tons of trashed women around then who are so drunk and desperate they won't notice what the guy looks like because at that point, everything is a blur. Option 2--get a hooker. I shouldn't advocate this really because I was charged to uphold the laws of the State of Florida, but come on, if you're that desperate to have sex, just pay for it like most of the members of Congress do.