Fun e-mail

While cleaning out my e-mail inbox this morning I came across a favorite e-mail of mine written by one of the attorneys in my office who I have the pleasure of working with. I thought I'd share it and then provide commentary. Enjoy. Of course, all identifying information has been redacted and replaced with more accurate titles/names.

_____________________________________________________________
Curlatini:


I had asked you to get the case law ready for the hearing on Tuesday in ABC v. XYZ. Tonight, I met with another incompetent lawyer to review the case and to my surprise there was only 1 set of the case law in the file. When preparing for a hearing, you need to make 3 sets of every case or statute you have cited. One set is for the Judge, one set is for opposing counsel and one set is for our file. Since I had to give the other incompetent lawyer the set in the file so she could prepare for the hearing, please prepare 2 more sets. Each set should included all the cases and statutes cited in our motion for rehearing. Please highlight the sections of the cases which we quote from. Please leave the two sets on my desk. I'll be in around 1:30 and I would like to see the information when I get in. Thanks for your help.



Signed,

Lawyer from my office who is incompetent and condescending

________________________________________________________________



I like how she tried to teach me a lesson in the second half of the e-mail. Meanwhile, I've worked for this firm for 3 years--in law school and now as an attorney. I think I learned how many copies of a case an attorney needs for motion argument on the 3rd day I worked here. But thanks for the refresher. I should have asked her how may copies are necessary if there are 2 attorneys on the other side. That's a toughie.





Here's how the conversation went before she sent this lovely e-mail and I completed the assignment:



Me: Do you want 3 sets of each case for the hearing?



Her: Not yet. I'm going to review each case and then decide which to use at the hearing. Just print one of each for right now.



Me: Ok, no problem.



After this conversation and receiving her nice e-mail I was needless to say, furious. And seeing as how I refuse to allow someone who is incompetent attempt to make me look like I don't know how to do my job, I replied to her e-mail. Here it is:

__________________________________________________________________



Dear Blah,



I know that in order to prepare for motion argument it is customary to print 3 copies of each case. While I have worked here for the past 3 years whenever I have helped you, the other attorney or myself prepare for motion argument, I have always printed 3 copies of all legal authority.



When you gave me this assignment, you said that you would decide which cases to cite in your motion argument and then print more copies, that you only needed 1 copy of each for now. Therefore, you should not have been surprised to see only 1 set of case law in the file as you asked me to pull only 1 set.



Love,

Curlatini

_____________________________________________________________



As an aside, when I am out and about and I tell other attorneys I work in this office, people sometimes sometimes tell me how wonderful Mrs. Incompetent is, and that she is a great lawyer. To which I ALWAYS ask if they have ever worked with her on a case. The commenter will ALWAYS answer no. And that is the reason they like her so much.