Thursday, April 24, 2008
This is pretty much how I feel......
http://southfloridalawyers.blogspot.com/2008/04/some-days-you-eat-bear-some-days-beart.html
It's all about how my profession runs on fear, and I totally agree.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I'm just saying.......
Monday, April 21, 2008
Rock of Love 2 reunion special
Why must Heather try to dress like a rock star? I think she actually looked like some type of modern day Janis Joplin, only prettier and sluttier. You can take the girl out of the strip club, but you can't take the strip club out of the girl.
Frenchie--she's just gross. I don't think that even Bret wants to see her naked.
Daisy--Change your name, it sounds like a stripper name. Oh, that's right she is a stripper, and a perfect advertisement for plastic surgery gone wrong.
Destiny--Reported that her Dad dies 2 weeks ago. Everyone cried, even me a little. I think I was just in a crying mood. That happens sometimes.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Traffic slowdown

Thursday, April 17, 2008
It's happened again.
So, I went to law school with this person and although she was in my section 1st year, I don't think I ever had a single conversation with her. AND, I saw her at my gym last year and she acted like she didn't even have the energy to say hi. Bitch. I confirmed her anyway. I don't want people to know I don't like them until they are my opposing counsel and then I can release my dislike of them guised as "I'm advocating for my client."
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
The pregnant man

Ok, so everyone has been talking about the pregnant man and now it's my turn. I would have written about him sooner but someone forgot to TIVO Oprah for me after I asked my Dad to record it several times.
Anyway, because of that I had to do actual research which took me all of about 2 minutes.
Ok this is confusing. So the guy used to be a lady, and the lady wanted to be a man so she got rid of her boobs and started taking man juice. As you can see from the picture the man juice worked because look at all of that hair in manly places. And do you know what else the man juice did? It turned her clitoris into a mini penis, and now he can have small penis man sex with his wife. I'm sure the wife really enjoys that because, well, who doesn't like a small penis. And, oh yes, the wife is a lesbian, and she doesn't really like man parts at all, that why she's a lesbian! Is everyone following me so far?
So the lady wanted to be a man so much that she kept her internal lady parts because he/she thought that maybe one day he'd have a baby. Then they found a sperm donor and DECIDED TO DO THE ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION AT HOME BY THEMSELVES. If I was Oprah, my follow up question would be "and did you save the turkey baster to show it to your child when he or she begins to ask about where babies come from?" Honestly how the hell do you artificially inseminate yourself? And, no, I don't want to try it at home. I guess the man/lady would have to have a vagina??? OMG this is so confusing, and if I actually saw what it looked like in his downtown region I might throw up.
Now, I am cursing Oprah for not asking this question: "With all of that confusing stuff you've got going on down there, where on earth is the baby coming out of?" Maybe his nose. Or ear. That would be my first, and second guesses.
I have so many unanswered questions. I think Oprah should have the pregnant man on for a follow-up after the baby is born. I'll make the demand on behalf of the viewing audience.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Why is it that I'm never that shocked when the U.S. government does something stupid?
Read this article from the Miami Herald.....
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Weapons dealer had minority status
A Miami Beach company under investigation for selling faulty munitions to the U.S. Army erroneously appeared as a minority-owned company on millions of dollars worth of government weapons contracts.
Posted on Fri, Apr. 11, 2008
Efraim Diveroli, the 22-year-old Miami Beach arms dealer, is already under investigation for allegedly selling banned Chinese munitions to the U.S. government.
Now Diveroli's firm, AEY, is being singled out as an example of fraud and mismanagement in how the federal government awards contracts to small and minority-owned businesses.
Sen. John Kerry, chairman of the committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship, said AEY won as many as 50 contracts worth $298 million, in part because of its designation as a small disadvantaged business -- a status reserved for people belonging to certain minority groups who can prove their net worth is under $750,000.
There's no evidence that AEY ever asked for the special status or would have been eligible. Diveroli's grandfather is Italian -- not one of the minorities singled out under the program.
The incident sheds light on what some business advocates contend are efforts to inflate contracting numbers in order to exaggerate the government's commitment to small and minority-owned firms. Since 1995 there have been 13 government investigations and two private studies that have turned up abuse and mismanagement in the federal contracting system.
Kerry sent letters to the Department of Defense, the State Department and the Small Business Administration Thursday asking about the error.
''Lack of oversight of contracting programs within the federal government is allowing companies like AEY Inc. to erroneously access hundreds of millions of dollars in contracts as an SDB,'' Kerry wrote to SBA Administrator Steven Preston. The lapses are ``undermining a program created to level the playing field for small disadvantaged businesses.''
The SBA in Washington says it has no record that AEY ever applied for SDB status.
AEY would not comment, and Diveroli's lawyer did not immediately return calls.
A review of the Federal Procurement Data System, which provides information on government contracting, found AEY was first identified as an SDB in June 2006 by the State Department and Army. It ultimately received the SDB designation 33 times on contracts worth $224 million. The company received another 19 awards during the same period without being labeled an SDB.
In the past, government auditors have blamed such errors on ''miscoding'' and typos.
''That's the same excuse the government has been using for the last six years,'' said Lloyd Chapman, president of the American Small Business League, which follows contracting issues. ``It's not accidents, it's not data entry errors, it's a well-orchestrated attempt to misrepresent the volume of contracts that go to small businesses and minorities.''
The government has the goal of channeling 23 percent of all contracts to small firms and 2.5 percent of contracts to SDBs. SDBs are usually owned by blacks, Hispanics, Asians or Native Americans. Other ethnicities can qualify only if they show a ''preponderance of evidence'' that they are disadvantaged.
While the government routinely misses its small business goal, it has done better hitting the SDB target.
In fiscal 2006, the most current year available, SDBs won $23 billion worth of contracts, or 6.8 percent of all government contracts.
But Chapman said there's evidence those figures are bloated with firms like AEY.
''For everyone that's caught there are hundreds that get away with it,'' he said.
Similarly, a 2005 investigation by The Miami Herald found that of the top 20 small-business contractors in Florida, more than half exceeded the SBA's basic definition of a small business.
AEY hit the news last month when an Army contract worth up to $300 million was suspended after it was discovered the company was allegedly passing off aging Chinese-made ammunition as Hungarian.
The bullets were destined for Afghanistan, but the transaction may have violated a ban on sales of Chinese munitions to the U.S. government. Now Diveroli is under criminal investigation and expected to appear before a congressional committee later this month.
''Faulty contracting procedures and deficient safeguards are no excuse for putting troops in Afghanistan and Iraq in greater danger,'' Kerry wrote. ``The Bush Administration needs to explain how and why this mistake occurred . . . and what steps they are taking to make sure that it never happens again.''
Monday, April 14, 2008
Monday morning

Oh yes, and my
And FYI--I didn't see the Rock of Love 2 finale because I fell asleep. Crap. And I think my computer is broken, again. Great. How am I supposed to charge my I Pod now?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
TGIV

That's right people....thank God its Vacation!!!! After much discussion, we've finally made a decision! We're (me and the bf) going to the Dominican Republic! Yea! I can't wait.
Sun, sand, pool drinks, uninterrupted time with the bf, me in a bathing suit. Wait, did I just say "me in a bathing suit?" Holy crap. The
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Just for laughs
_____________________________________________________________
hi Former HOA Pres i clled you afew weeks back you were not homei spoke with your relative what happened is myplayrrom front room downstairs was leaking fromceiling into wall i called my roofer which was done 1yr ago they checked it it turns out it was the frontsiding of the structure of the house it is totallywarped in and cracked ubder the other upstairs bedroomwindow the rrofer said it was the stucco i have anuncle big into construction he will look at it andrefer someone to usat this point we nnedd to all meetthanx for your time hope your well -Neighbor that has a 1st grade education
_______________________________________________________________
Now, the fact that I understood that e-mail enough to respond to it is something that I'm not proud of. Here's my response:
Dear neighbors,
Unfortunately the problem you are experiencing is not covered by the Home owner's Association. Each individual homeowner is responsible for the building that lies on your property's legal description. The legal description of your property can be found on the Broward County Property Appraiser's website, and also probably in the following locations: your mortgage documents, the title to your home, and the deed to your home.
The Association is only responsible for common areas such as the pool, etc. If you would like further information on the items for which each homeowner is responsible, I will be happy to photocopy the applicable sections of the Association By-Laws.
Therefore, if you need to repair your property, do not look to the Association for financial contribution.
Love,
Curlatini, Esq.
____________________________________________________________
If they understood my response I'd be shocked.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Um, how do I say this politely?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Update on big deadline
Now I know all of you non-law people are wondering if that is a big deal. And, I don't mind telling you that, yes, in fact, I do rock and I can get loads of work accomplished when I actually try and concentrate on what I'm doing.
And the fact that I worked so hard today will work out very well for me because tomorrow I have to drive all the way to West Palm Beach to prepare a client for a deposition on a BS case. So, I will be in the car for hours. Fabulous. Hopefully when I get back to the office my secretary will have typed up my very long dictation tape and I can make revisions and have a second draft of the thing by tomorrow night.
I amaze myself sometimes, really.
Well that is f%&$#ing great
I guess I'll just have to pretend that my $2700 tax refund is my bonus.Crap. This is really not working for me. I'm not happy.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Big deadline
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Rock of Love 2 review
I am so looking forward to the followup show.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
And speaking of ugly couples........

Friday, April 4, 2008
Injury
Thursday, April 3, 2008
News flash--Mariah is nuts
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Name calling is not just for kids
_________________________________________________________________
JudiciarySources: Spechler reassignment, resignation came after disparaging remarks about fellow judge's sexual orientation
April 01, 2008
Longtime Broward County judge resigned after he was reassigned to hear traffic cases in a satellite courthouse and barred from entering the main Fort Lauderdale courthouse.
Courthouse sources said County Court Judge Jay Spechler’s reassignment came after he got into a verbal altercation with fellow County Court Judge Peggy Gehl and made disparaging comments about her sexual orientation. Calls to Gehl were not returned by deadline. Her judicial assistant said she was out for the day. Rumors have circulated in the legal community for months that the state Judicial Qualifications Commission was looking at Spechler and several other local judges. Gehl is a member of the JQC. The Broward Sheriff’s Office and the Fort Lauderdale police department said there were no police reports regarding any incidents involving Broward judges. Judge Spechler sent a three-sentence letter of resignation to Gov. Charlie Crist on Monday, effective the same day, saying it was “an honor and privilege” to serve the county and state. He started a new job today with a North Miami mediation firm. The abrupt job change was in response to his reassignment, which amounted to a demotion. Spechler’s sudden reassignment and resignation – which was not explained – has been the talk of the courthouse. Chief Circuit Judge Victor Tobin sent Spechler a letter last Thursday assigning him to outlying civil traffic and parking ticket cases. “You are not to return to the Central Courthouse except at my direction,” Tobin said in the letter initially reported today in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. The letter offered no explanation for Tobin’s action. Spechler and Tobin did not return calls for comment by deadline. Attorney Michael Ahearn, a friend of Spechler’s, said the former judge has joined the Center for Conflict Resolution in North Miami, which was founded by former Bay Harbor Islands Mayor Thomas Glick and Rosanne Shore in 1997. Spechler had been courted by mediation firms for a while, and his judicial reassignment demonstrated the need for a change, Ahearn said. “It was a game of chicken, and Jay had an out: a lucrative job offer he jumped at and hadn’t looked back,” Ahearn said. Broward Circuit Judge Thomas Lynch echoed Ahearn’s comments that Spechler had been considering moving into mediation. He said Tobin’s letter prompted Spechler to take the job sooner rather than later. “He had an offer on the table for a long time. You could say the abrupt transfer made the decision easier for him,” Lynch said. Lynch and Spechler have been longtime friends, surfing buddies and former law partners. Representatives at the Center for Conflict Resolution confirmed Spechler has joined the firm. Spechler, who was elected judge in 1988, led the county court for 12 years. He resigned from his administrative post last May, a week after former Broward Chief Judge Dale Ross announced he was leaving the court’s top judicial post. Spechler served as chairman of the county court’s civil division for four years. He oversaw many cases involving United Automobile Insurance, which sought to remove him from its personal injury protection accident cases before him. “Jay will be sorely missed,” Lynch said. Ross resigned following a series of controversies involving Broward judges accused of everything from pot smoking in a park to insensitivity on the bench. The incidents came to a head last March when Florida Supreme Court Chief Justice R. Fred Lewis flew to Miami to meet with minority bar leaders.
Not so good morning
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Something that's been bothering me for a while
We just got the proofs back from the photographer for the firm website. I look like crap in every single picture. Cry.
I am getting rid of my hairdresser. She's gone. After that I will re-evaluate the picture taking situation and report back to everyone. That is all.
Facebook--I don't get it
But I don't get that site. Maybe it's because I don't make the most of it and do the stupid things you can do on the site like take some dumb movie quiz, or send a flower to a friend. Maybe it's just me, but the whole thing is juvenile. For reals, yo.