Thursday, September 16, 2010

An actual letter to a really old lawyer

Hi! Here is an actual letter that I sent to a 90 year old man who I am litigating against. Unfortunately for him, he really pissed me off, and although he is old, I will take no pity on him. I just hope my nasty letters will drive him to retire, which he should have done, oh, about 70 years ago.......


I am in receipt of your correspondence of September 15. You have been demanding for months that this child be returned to his Mother. You claimed that the child has been “kidnapped” by his Father, even though he regularly visited his Mother and she allowed him to live with his Father for the better part of a year. Now you complain that the child has been returned to his Mother, which is what you and your client wanted!

First of all, I would suggest you refer to the Florida Statutes for the most accurate
definition of kidnapping. Further, the police refuse to get involved in child custody disagreements such as this, and would never arrest a Father for kidnapping. That is law enforcement standard operating procedure. When you threaten to bring kidnapping charges against my client, you may want to research whether you actually have the authority to do that. You do not. That is the job of law enforcement and the State Attorney’s Office. You are not employed by either of those groups, to my knowledge.

Secondly, I would suggest you choose a position and stick with it. You wanted the child back, did you not? Now that’s he’s back you say that he’s “scheming.” Do you really think it is fair to accuse a 12 year old of “scheming?” Do you think that it is appropriate to blame the Mother’s inability to control and parent her son on him, the 12 year old? If your client cannot control her child, it is solely her fault. The child is 12 years old, and his unruly behavior is not out of character for his age. If she does not know how to control an adolescent boy I would suggest that she enroll in some parenting courses with all due haste.

Lastly, I find it extremely hard to believe that the police discovered that the child and the Father were “scheming” to blame the Mother. In all actuality, the child left the home and the police were called after your client’s new husband put his hands on the child. When a non-biological parent begins physically disciplining a child a situation may arise where criminal charges can be brought. I would suggest that your client’s husband govern himself accordingly.

Should you have any questions concerning the foregoing, please contact the undersigned at your earliest convenience.
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It's days like this that I love my job!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Welcome to Florida. We'll be happy to kick your ass!

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/nationalsjournal/2010/09/nyjer_morgans_long_week_and_th.html